The Women of today’s generation are fully awake on this matter . lol
I will first say that there are some disagreements that should not occur in your marriage if you are both genuinely working together as a Team.
The issue of house chores is one that can cause conflict in the early years of marriage and a lot of Couples are still struggling with reaching a place of harmony on this matter.
If you are on this table, then read on so as to get the help you need.
It may surprise you to know that the issues arising may not necessarily be about who is right or wrong, rather the issue actually originates from the mindset that is guiding your thought process. Your belief system on this should be your utmost concern because herein lies the crux of the matter.
I remember a couple who took my belief’s assessment realized that the Husband’s belief is that the only Wife is to cook and clean the home, while her belief is that both Spouses are to cooperate in keeping and running their home especially as they are both Career people.
Just before you begin to take sides, let me say that their perspectives are both valid because everyone’s attitude to life is a reflection of who they are. Who they are is a product of their upbringing, experiences, values, etc, and to a very large extent, the kind of marriage their Parents had.
Aha!
You get me now right?
So I want to hear from you, what is your view about house chores in marriage? Who should do what? (let me know in the comment..)
According to a survey from Yelp, 80% of Couples have disagreements arising from House Chores. Although I believe that it is the simple things we do for each other that makes marriage sweet, I can also confirm that it is the minor things in marriage that causes conflict in marriage. True or False?
You will agree with me that Gender roles have been a controversial hot topic for many years now, especially when viewed from our cultural and religious background. In our woke generation of today, if you fail to manage your marriage with wisdom, it can become a cause of conflict between you and your Spouse. I always recommend that Couples discuss this while dating and also during the early years of marriage.
Here are some tips to guide you when discussing and living out your responsibilities as it relates house chores in Marriage:
1. Have a team Spirit:
During a football game, it is a known fact that all players of the team have one objective in mind- to score a goal. It would be foolish of one of the team players to refuse to pass the ball to his fellow team member just because of the argument they had the night before right?
Likewise in Marriage, you must always have your marriage goals in mind when engaging in conversations like this. The strength of any team is determined by the qualities of the players. Meaning, even when you may not like to wash the dishes and your partner enjoys dish washing for example, it’s okay for the Spouse who likes dish washing to take this up with joy, and where no one likes such chore, each Spouse must remember that 2 (two) have become one, hence there has to be some form of sacrifice and understanding to arrive at a decision.
Wives must avoid struggling with their husbands to be the lead, as the only healthy competition permitted to exist in marriage is the competition to outdo each other in love. Husband’s must in turn learn to put the Wife first and treat her with love like Christ did.
Learning to shoulder life’s responsibilities together as a Team deepens the bond in your relationship. However, one person should not always feel overwhelmed with the workload while the other Spouse is only bothered about how to Netflix and chill.
2. Be flexible:
Rules were made for Man by Man. This means that we have the liberty to also adjust the rules as the need arises. Typically roles in any Family can be shared around 4 categories:
- Wife
- Husband
- Shared (either to be agreed before time, to take turns as the need arises etc.)
- Delegated (with supervision by either Husband or Wife)
The unavailability of one Spouse to perform their part, should not lead to a conflict in your marriage. There should be adequate flow of communication and understanding by you and your Spouse to ensure that the unavailability of one Spouse does not result in a negative outcome for your Family.
This does not give room for abuse of each other’s willingness to support. Cooperation and Sacrifice should be top in mind at all times. The more flexible you both can be, the happier your marriage will be.
3. Be Patient:
I always thought I was patient, until marriage opened my eyes to how impatient I could be. We all operate on different levels of speed and knowing this will quickly deliver you to your land of peace. lol.
You must learn to extend grace to your Spouse in moments when they do not live up to their part of the deal. Your focus at this moment should not be to crucify them but to first be patient, and in due time understand the reason for their actions or inactions.
On occasions where you may disagree with their reasons for not living up to expectation, be sure to manage such moments with wisdom knowing fully well that we all get to this phase once in a while. Know when to overlook and when to make an issue a big deal. Life is not that serious sometimes.
It’s okay to agree to disagree. Infact, patience will prevent you from lashing out at your Spouse and keep you from saying hurtful things you may eventually regret in future.
4. Appreciate each other:
How else can you prove to your Spouse that you value and appreciate them if you don’t make them feel like they have a special place in your heart. Everybody loves to be appreciated, it’s a good feeling and a confirmation that they are crushing goals in your heart.
Making it a habit to show gratitude for the little things is important to fuel love tank for each other. Speaking the primary love language of your Spouse is one of the best ways to love and appreciate your Spouse for who they are to you. (If you do not know your Spouse’s love language, you may want to sign up for both of you to take my marriage assessments now)
Never make the mistake of seeing your Spouse’s support as your right as this will deprive you of being grateful for the little things they do. I had to make it a habit to speak over my Husband and His finances saying a word of prayer when He does certain things for me.
What will you stop doing and start doing now that you have read this?
If you have any questions, It will be my pleasure to assist in the comment session.
