You are probably reading this because you are married and wondering okay what’s next? Okay maybe not, perhaps you just stumbled on this post and thought it wise to read through. That’s okay too.
The memory of the Big day still dwells in your mind especially the thought of how you dotted your I’s and crossed your T’s. Everything was beautiful and perfect just like you imagined it would be. The atmosphere was filled with pure love. You said your vows with tears flowing down your cheeks. It was nothing short of love on your big day. Amazing!
The big day has come and gone. You have pathed ways with loved ones and have melted into the arms of your sweet Spouse. You have cooled off from all the stress of wedding preparation and the joys of your honeymoon, you are beginning to experience Marriage in its purest form.
Hmmm… As you begin to settle into your new life as a newlywed wife, some things are going to surprise you.
Oh fear not, it doesn’t happen to everyone. lol.
- You may get on a roller coaster ride of emotions. Interestingly, or maybe not so interesting, your Husband may not share in this roller coaster ride of emotions. And this could be based on the differences in upbringing, life’s experience or exposure, environmental and social upbringing. Bear in mind that your Husband isn’t a mind reader. The only way he’d get into the knowledge of what you feel is when you communicate it to him. Never stop communicating, no matter how hard it may seem.
- The “In-love” feeling may look like it has faded away and reality will set in. It will become obvious that Love cannot and will not keep your marriage flame alive. Don’t see it as a problem, marriage is work. You will need to be creative and deliberately work it through your agreed strategy.
- It may seem like Hubby no longer fancies you, because the attention given to you may seem to have decreased possibly due to new or more projects at hand. Errm, well this may or may not be true. A man is usually “project driven“, and for some of them- there is time for everything and that feeling of “you are now mine” may make Him direct His attention to some other projects. Rather than assume, I would say talk about it so that you can understand the reason for diversion of attention. This way, your expectations will be managed properly.
- Sometimes you will question your choice of getting married to your husband. (Some even say they are not interested in the marriage again ..lol) When conflicts begin to come up (which is very normal), you may think you made a wrong choice. If you did or didn’t make a wrong choice is of no importance now because you are married. Rather than look to the past, ask yourself how do I (We) make it work.
- Sometimes you may just want to lock yourself up and cry, scream and cry some more. It’s okay to let those emotions out. You will be fine.
- Did I mention the big fights with your spouse? Yes, you will not always agree on everything with your spouse. You will also realize that you are not always right hence, you may not always be on the same page with him in terms of perspective. It is absolutely normal. …. Your concern instead should be; how best you both can navigate your way through any misunderstanding or differences. #Couplegoals. Hehe..
- My Last point would sound like a friendly/Sisterly warning. Hehehe… Your friends and family may not be the appropriate persons to share your marital challenges with. Oh yes, it’s mostly difficult for people who love you to give unbiased opinions about issues, and you also don’t want them struggling with forgiving one Spouse even when you and your Spouse have moved beyond the issue. This is where you need a Marriage Coach/Mentor.( You know I’m here for you right?)
If you can have a Medical Doctor, Career Mentor, Pastor for your Spirituality, Health coach and Financial Advisor to manage your Finances, then I think your relationship should not be ignored. In fact, you will most likely struggle in other areas of your life if you are struggling with your marriage. That’s given. I wrote a Book on certain mistakes you must avoid as a newly Wed/Young Wife, I hope you have read it? If not Click here to grab your copy.
No worries, It’s free
Healthy Couples know that a great marriage does not happen by chance, so they put in the work to ensure they arrive at their destination.
What I’m driving at is to be sure you know what becomes of you now you are married. You must ask yourself certain questions like:
Are you going to be a shadow of yourself? Are you going to expect that your spouse meets all of your needs? How do you navigate all the challenges to achieve a blissful marriage? – #Food for Thought
So tell me, did you experience any shockers when you got married?